#87 - Road march, and the normal drama

I am on another fire guard shift, and it is 1:17am. The other guard is sleeping in the chair next to me. I wish I could be sleeping too, as I'm utterly exhausted, but unlike many of the folks here, I don't nap through my duty. I tried, in vain, to catch a quick nap yesterday when we were in the barracks, but each time I would fall asleep, a Drill Sergeant would suddenly appear in the hallway. I made half-hearted attempt to watch 'Gladiator' last night in the platoon classroom downstairs, but I couldn't help but to nod off during the movie. Luckily we did have the option of going upstairs if we didn't want to watch it. I thought I could have an opportunity to catch a nap then when I came upstairs, but I ended up consoling a girl whose grandmother had a heart attack recently. Obviously that was more important than napping.

Of all nights, this is not the one I want to be on fire guard. It could have been worse, however - at least I don't have a 2-hour CQ shift.

One of the platoons had their phone call privileges revoked last night after a less-than-satisfactory barracks inspection. I'm surprised we didn't have our privileges revoked as well, as there was a bunch of crap left in our room by... guess who... my battle buddy. I think people are on the verge of beginning to slap her around for continually screwing up. I tell White every day about leaving stuff on her bed (or hidden behind her bed), but she refuses to listen. At this point, I just don't know what to say anymore. She doesn't seem to care if she gets in trouble, nor if she gets us all in trouble.

I had a dream last night which did not involve Army-related subject matter. Maybe that's good, as my mind is realizing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I just wish there was one good opportunity to recharge my body and catch up on sleep... just one time - one good night of sleep, and I would be satisfied. Being tired all the time is one of the aspects of basic training that I hated the most the first time I went through BCT, and I still despise.

It is about 4:30pm, still Monday. This morning's road march wasn't as bad as I had expected it would be. The pace was a bit slower than the last few marches, so I was better able to keep up. It still was physically difficult, however. For the last two miles, I felt like I was lightheaded and having an out-of-body experience. It was pretty weird, but good in a way, because I didn't realize just how exhausted I was until it was over. I have some monster blisters on the bottoms (pads) of my feet, but emerged otherwise unscathed except for being even more dog tired today.

For the remainder of the day, we were cycled through a series of classes ranging from field hygiene to administering an anti-nerve agent to performing CPR. A lot of people had difficulty staying awake. People are generally tired, and grumpy. Well, perhaps grumpy is too nice of a word. Over the past few days, several members of my platoon have been really at each other's throats. The conflict usually goes something like this:

A: "Shhhhhh!"
B: "Shut up! You, shut the hell up!"
A: "Why don't you shut the hell up!"
B: "You're the one making all the noise. It's always you. Shut up already."
A: "No, it's you that's always talking, idiot. **** off!"
B: "**** you, asshole!"
A: "C'mon boy, start with me. I'll kick your scrawny ass. Just try it."
....ad nauseum ;p

Yesterday one of the guys and one of the girls got into it so bad that I thought it was going to progress into an actual fistfight.

Sometimes I feel like I am trapped in a mass of people that I very much different from. I don't know if it is that I am so much older than some of these kids, or that I'm more mature... Of course, I'm not perfect in any sense, but at least I can get along with my fellow soldiers. It is very frustrating to continually get in trouble for the shortcomings of others, like the aforementioned verbal altercations. There are so many people here with attitudes. Most people here act like they must have been the toughest one on the block from whatever town they hail from, and want the whole world to know of their supreme prowess in being a badass.

...

It is 6:30pm and we have been cut loose for a little while to engage in "barracks maintenance". At 8:45pm we have the nightly "toe the line" ritual where everyone must line up in the hallway outside their bay rooms to be accounted for. I'd love to get to bed early if I can, though it's probably not an option. I usually feel guilty about not doing any cleaning if we are supposed to be engaging in that activity, and even if the Drill Sergeants aren't around, the girls in the barracks are usually making so much noise that it is nearly impossible to tune them out. I think tonight is an exception. Right now I am so exhausted that I could probably sleep through a marching band. I think I could probably sleep through the band tromping all over me. God, I would give almost anything for sleep. We are all soooo tired...